“Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37 is full of treasures, so I thought I would camp out here, in verse 3 for a while and give you some thoughts on how the desires of my heart have been met. I came across this passage today by accident while doing my Believing God study. I was supposed to be in Psalm 32, so I began reading and then realized I was in the wrong place but the words jumped off the page at me.
When the kids went off to college I found myself in a very strange and unfamiliar place. My skills of planning/decorating for a senior luncheon (complete with adhesive mustache’s) was no longer needed. My days, months, years that had been filled with gala meetings, lacrosse photo editing for the school’s website and planning sport’s banquets were suddenly gone, POOF! That realization hit me smack in the face one morning (maybe late afternoon, but who watches the time?) while I was sitting in the backyard with my craft of coffee. It was completely depressing and left me in a kind of funk that I can’t really describe for quite some time. I finally came to the realization that I had not really thought ahead to what my days “after high school” would look like. After more time of mourning my lack of planning I began to pray.
What am I supposed to do now that no one “needs” me? What am I going do in my new life that matters more than what I have done in the past? As I prayed, I told myself many things, one of which was that I would not say yes to the first thing that came along. I was offered words of wisdom from a trusted friend: “Marcy, you need to rest in the Lord and He will bring about what He has planned for you when it’s ready.” I knew this, of course, so I tried to rest, really I did, I’m just not very good at it. I started looking for clues in the bible studies I was doing as to what direction I would go. I also prayed for a passion to rise up in me that could direct my searching……crickets. So, I changed the wording of my prayers in case the Lord didn’t understand what I needed. (big smiley face) I prayed for something I could get excited about and could spend my time nurturing into a ministry……crickets.
After a year or so of praying I got a little impatient. If you know me I’m sure you are rolling your eyes and laughing at this. When nothing happened I began to look around me (mistake!!) at all my friends and their empty nester lives. Some of them had found some really exciting things to fill their time and others were reporting that God was bringing all kinds of people into their lives who were leading them into their “new life”. My response was, (with a little foot stomp to complete the tantrum) “Why aren’t you doing that for me, surely you know how hard I have been praying!” I’m sure the Lord got a good chuckle out of that one.
Shortly after that a friend mentioned how much she loved our Christmas party and that I should do something that included decorating. Another friend mentioned that she loved coming to the house to eat and that I should do something that involved cooking. The ultimate was, a friend in The Woodlands had started a fashion blog in the spring and kept telling me that I should look into starting one of my own. There is a lot more to the story but the bottom line is that I believe the Lord used all three of these friends to lead me to where I am today.
Here is what the above passage means to me: Marcy, don’t fret about the details you tend to hold on to so tightly or be envious of others, especially when you see their walk with me and what I am doing in their lives. Put your trust in me, continue to “do good” (study your bible, pray, serve others….) and enjoy this time of rest from the schedule you have kept for the last 8 years. Delight yourself in me and at the time I have chosen, I will give you the desire of your heart.
Not much left to say after that……except, God is active in your life, even when the crickets sing and you can’t see Him. He will do what He promises, you can trust in that.